Have your ever pondered the philosophy of Plato? Was Plato a philosopher, I don't remember, but I know I liked the sound of the question. Read the works of a Zen master? Bulked up on the Bible?
No matter what we do, I am a firm believer in the wonderful saying I heard the other day...'If God brought me to it, God will bring me through it.' Lately, I have been leaning on God because I can't make sense of life.
So many people around me have died in the past year and that includes both of my natural parents. I had the opportunity to help take care of my mom when she couldn't take care of herself and you know, I still do not think I did enough & I keep wondering if I could have done more...should I have stayed longer...so many what if's! It doesn't matter now, she is in peace and out of pain from the cancer that took her life. My dad had Lou Gehrigs disease and while I rarely talked to him & saw him even less due to a messy divorce and years of absenteeism (not all his fault), I miss his deep New York voice.
Silly as it sounds, Phil Harris the Captain of the Cornelia Marie from the deadliest catch died a few days before my mom and living close to Seattle, I didn't know him, but I mourned him like a family member and I cried for his childrens loss of their father.
There have been other deaths this year, close friends, wonderful caring people and.......other losses that I have mourned.
There have been times I wanted to give up, bury my head in the sand, throw everything out with the bathwater...never my own life, but I have been down in the pits of hades a few times this year, from despair, trauma and always I ask God...please, one moment of peace.
Then, the words,'If God got me to it, God will get me through it!' I am whole again, having once again knocked the devil off my shoulder!