Sunday, March 6, 2011

Lord Help Me!

My family drove into Olympia yesterday (about an hour away) and stopped by the mall and what a culture shock. We are used to malls being busy, people running here and there, but after living in a very small, depressed community that rarely has very few vehicles in the parking lot, looking for a parking space, was an adrenaline rush to me!

We went into Macy's first and everywhere you looked were people shopping and smiling and having a good time. We stepped outside of Macy's into the main mall and there were people all over, teens having a good time, giggling and laughing and hanging out with each other, families smiling, shoe stores, clothing stores, kiosks full of ogglers, I was in heaven!

It isn't that I dislike where God has put my family, it is the fact that the community isn't just depressed for lack of jobs, their mentality is one of oppression and depression and WalMart rocks!

Homes are literally falling down around people and yet, the powers that be do not condemn them, nor do they try to get grants that would help them repair them (I worked for a city that went out of its way to get grants to improve peoples lives).

Homes and vehicles are covered in slimy green moss that could be washed easily away with a garden hose, but people don't! Vehicles are parked on the sidewalks causing school children to walk around them in the street, we have businesses down town that are deplorably taken care of, we even have a resident pan handler who has stood in the same place for almost 3 years now....last sign she held was that her grandchildren needed cereal and milk....I know her grandchildren, they don't even acknowledge she exists they are so embarrassed by her....she doesn't need the money!

Anyone I have talked to that doesn't live here and even those who do, say the minute you drive into our area, you feel depression coming over you & that is sad. Could it change? Yes. Do they want it to? No, those in charge want to be in charge, continue things the way they have always been done, they do not care!

Case in point....there was a push to paint all the homes on the main streets as you come into town to brighten them up. Cost...FREE!! Labor and paint was being provide and yet, many homeowners refused to have their chipped paint, moss covered homes taken care of. It was sad!

I have tried to reach out to help and had the door slammed in my face each time. Volunteer to work with the city...they told me I couldn't! Volunteer to work with emergency management? They didn't want me! It is a dreary and sad place to live and yet, there is little crime, the kids can play, our neighbors for the most part are awesome!

I wonder sometimes if God put me here and forgot about my family. Then, I go to get my car washed yesterday at a function for church youth and a young girl I hadn't seen in over a year, sees me, jumps off the ground, grabs me and just holds on....she was so happy to see me.

Perhaps my family was placed here to help a child, I do not know. Things are changing rapidly and I go to God often asking His guidance to help me, to shape me and show me what He wants, why He moved us here to this particular place instead of another city .

What is my purpose? What is it that I have or do not have that God is trying to show me?

Then, I remember one of my bible study partners who told me last week: 'God wants you to know, you are not defined by the job you have.'

We had lunch in the mall, a small snack and went to Costco....I feel so very blessed to have my husband 24 hours smoke free (thank you Jesus!), my 3 grandchildren so happy to be with us and enjoying scouts, music lessons, etc., to be able to open my eyes and see things around me that others can't.

Perhaps that is Gods purpose. For, if I was still a police dispatcher, I wouldn't have all the freedoms I have now, my grandchildren wouldn't be so very wonderfully happy.
Now, if we can only find a boat for hubby to go fishing, I think I will know why we were moved here.

Lord, thank you, for showing me how to help myself!


Scrappy quilter said...

Awe, I hope things improve in your town. So sad when others don't want to better themselves. Hugs

autumnesf said...

I wrote an email very much like this (yet very different) about where we are right now and what has happened - to my friends a few months back. One of my friends sent me such a wonderful response I wish I had kept it! I'd share it if I had!

I think sometimes I struggle most because I feel we did what we were supposed to do by coming here...yet everything (outside of Gods will) that we came here for has fallen apart in a big way. It makes NO sense. So then I was questioning IF we were really listening to God's direction at all.

Wouldn't it just be easier if he'd drop us a stone tablet now and then???? LOL!!

Quiltingranny said...

It is sad when people see no hope!
Autumn, I have learned everything happens according to Gods plan & will, not ours. Like you, nothing to me at times makes sense, but I know God put us here! Maybe not a stone tablet, but I could sure use seeing a burning bush once in awhile so I know I am going the right way!