Sunday, April 10, 2011

What Kind of Grandparent Are You?

What kind of grandparent are you? Are you a spoiling grandparent? A hands on grandparent? A grandparent raising grands? A grandparent that babysits? A grandparent that pinch hits in a crisis? Do you take your grands to places like Disneyland, the beach, traveling in your RV? Do you take them during the summer for a week, two or the entire summer? Do you visit them often or not at all? Do you see them on holidays and their birthdays?

I am a different grandparent to different grandchildren. The picture at the top shows 5 of my 11 grandchildren and my style varies with how often I get to see them...Out of the five in the top photo, I am raising 3 of them and had the other two visiting for the week-end for the first time in many years.

It wasn't my choice, it had to do with a divorce, a new husband that wanted nothing to do with our family, my son trying to get visitation rights and a whole lot of extra junk in between that my husband and I have nothing to do with, nor did we really want to become involved in the sticky spider web mess.

But oh this week-end it was really nice having 2 more grands in the house because not only did we get to spoil these two and give them things they never get like pizza, ice cream and hot dog wraps, we got extra hugs and kisses!

These next two little darlins are my youngest grandchildren. They flew up to visit us in February looking for snow and missed it by a day. The baby girl is getting her frequent flying miles in visiting Ranny and Papa once a year and little man was just born in December. I talk to her frequently and send them cards and little things as I can. They are fun to have in the house as well!

Then, there is the sibling of the 3 that are living with us. We never get to see her, talk to her or visit with her, we don't even have an address for her. We sent her birthday present to her other grandmother and her aunt took a picture and posted it on face book for us to see.

We miss her very much and have tried both times to pay for her flight up here when these 2 come to visit, but her mom won't even respond to any Emails. We miss her very much!

Living in Arizona, we were at least lucky to see her when her mom wanted a break for the week-end. She has gone through some pretty tough stuff for a child.

We have no control over this situation and can only give it to God!
I have 3 more I don't see, but when we all lived in Arizona, I saw them frequently, they spent days at my home, I would spend week-ends at theirs.

Another divorce, a move and the last time I saw my oldest grandson was when I was moving from Arizona to Washington, spent the evening with him, had pizza, went swimming with he and his baby sister. His middle sister was at camp.

I keep in touch with them on Facebook and I thing the oldest granddaughter may come to visit this summer!

I wish I lived closer to all of them, what fun we would have going to the beach together, having picnics, birthday parties.

Once, I wanted us all to see Christmas lights, so I rented a huge 17 passenger van and hubs drove us through the city of Phoenix there were 14 or 15 of us. We made homemade pizza prior to leaving the house and baked cookies. During the drive we stopped for hot chocolate & it was amazing to see peoples faces as we all piled out one by one.

I have never been blessed to take the kids to Disneyland, I have dreamed about it, but it isn't in Gods plans right now.

I spent summers with my grandparents every summer on my moms side and we went to Disneyland, Sea World and just hung out around the house and pool. We spend vacation time with my dads side of the family traveling in our camper and station wagon. My grandparents would visit us on holidays.

What I don't seem to understand are grandparents who live so close and do nothing with their grandchildren. What is up with that? If you can't seem to take 2 or 3 at one time, take them for special time one on one. Teach them a skill, let them help you cook, read to them, spend time talking to them, but don't try to impress me with what you do for them when I know you don't!

We struggle, I won't lie to you....I am not working, my health isn't 100%, but I love being around my grands and can't imagine a life without them.

I have had grandparents turn their children over to the cops and their grands over to CPS. I have seen grand parents promise to do something with a grandchild and then never do it.

How sad to feel you have to tell a child a lie to make yourself look good in your own eyes!

Grandchildren are special and I am so blessed and thankful for the 11 I have even if I don't see them all the time!

1 comment:

Scrappy quilter said...

We've gone through similar situations with our grandkids. It's not something I'll share here although it's been heartbreaking. Our other grandchildren we see as often as we can. Hugs