Sunday, June 19, 2011

Fathers Day...

Today is Fathers Day & when we think of this day, many of us traditionally think about our earthly fathers, sons that are fathers, our step-fathers, or grand many of us actually stop and think that this would be a great day to thank Our Heavenly Father?

No sillies, not just because it falls on a Sunday and you go to church on Sunday, but because our Father in Heaven loves us unconditionally, He has never left us (we leave Him, but He is always waiting for us to come back), He is our Jehovah Jirah (Our provider).

Today, the kids will fill cards out for their Papa, they will draw him a picture, we will have a special dinner for him...but their dad is not here, he is in prison. Today, they can't pick up the phone and call him, they don't get to tell him how much they love him (and they love him so much). They know their Papa isn't their daddy, but they love him as much as they do their daddy.

We break our fathers heart and yet, God always welcomes us home, puts on the best for us, because He loves us. When was the last time you called your earthly father? Perhaps there has been distance between you, fences not mended...pick up the phone and say: Dad, I love you. Put the past where it belongs, in the past and call your DAD!!

Do you have an ex-husband? Has he wanted to see your children and you keep making excuses? Do you hold the kids over his head like ransom? Stop breaking his heart and let his children call him! Why is it we do this to our children? What do we hope to gain? Contempt is what you will gain and sooner than later you will discover the heartache of doing this to your child.

Kids idolize, make up lies, dream, pretend and believe that the parent they are not allowed to see is going to run in on a white horse and save them from their life! Trust me, I thought my dad would some day...take me to his house, buy me beautiful clothes, give me everything I wanted, I would sleep in a white canopy bed with purple flowers on it. I would be a princess!

Stop lying to your children! Stop telling them to call your boyfriend or boyfriends dad, they aren't your children's dad, so stop forcing them into something they don't want! Besides, how many times have you done that only to have that person walk out on you...hmmmmm, wonder how your child(ren) feel now that not one, but two, three or more 'dads,' have walked out on them! Yes! Kids take things like this personally!

Today, next Sunday, get up, take your children to church, allow them to attend Sunday School and be introduced to their Father in Heaven, the one Father who will always be there for them.

I know domestic violence runs rampant, I know there are circumstances in which you can't allow your child to know their earthly father, but more oft times than naught, I see parents withhold their child from not only other parents, other siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles & it breaks my heart!

Yes, I speak from experience. Recently, I looked at Facebook and saw my sons youngest daughter sitting next to a man that was labeled her grandfather. Sadly, my husband saw it as well. This other man is not her grandfather, but she has been told he is! Her mothers boyfriend is not her dad...but she has been told he is! My husband was crushed as he said with tears in his eyes...that man is NOT her grandfather!

We have done what we can to remain in this child's life, however, not only her mother, but other family members have shut the door for us. We have offered to fly her up here when our youngest and his family comes to visit, we have sent gifts, pictures & when my husband talked to her lastly, sadly she told him she doesn't remember him! What purpose does all this bitterness serve?

Withholding your child from a family member is painful! It not only hurts the family, sooner or later, the child will learn the truth and they will know you are lying and then what happens? When they ask why you did what you did and you can show them years of returned letters you sent them, years of returned (still in the box) gifts you sent them, a log of unanswered and unreturned phone calls? What happens then? Who will you blame?

Honestly, I loved and still love my step-dad very much. However, I always wondered why my mom kept us from our dad and cut us out of his life? Would it have hurt her to let us visit him, or talk to him on the phone?
My husband went through the same thing growing up....thinking his father left him and didn't care. He was very bitter towards his father when he reunited with him for awhile because his father told him if he wanted

Then, he learned the truth! That broke his heart again, because he had his mind made up for so many years that what he was told and what he believed was truth and then finding out it was lies, was more pain for him. So many years he believed his dad walked out and didn't want him, didn't care about him....then finding out, his dad tried to find them and when he was allowed to see them so many years later, he wasn't allowed to tell his own children who he was.....Why??

So, today just this once, allow your child (if they want to), to call their father, grandfather, uncles and say Happy Fathers Day. In spite of your feelings! In spite of your bitterness. In spite of the fact your ex is lower than a bug on your shoe. You will feel better, the kids will feel better!

Our children have a tough enough time in this world, stop making it worse! Yes, I know all about dead beat dads, dads that don't care, dads that think only of themselves. But honestly, isn't it better to step up and stop than to let the madness continue? Even if it is for one brief short phone call?

Go out and enjoy the day with your father, husband, grandfather, step-father, son, uncle or brother. If your earthly father has passed on, take a few minutes today to tell him how you feel! It will make you feel better!
But most of all, remember our Heavenly Father, He loves us unconditionally all the time!

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