Monday, May 19, 2014

Think Before You Speak!

In our home on the fridge is the saying about words:
  • Is it kind?
  • Is it necessary?
  • Is it true?
  • Is is gossip?
  • Am I defending my own opinion, rather than listening to the individual?
 Of course, I have to say our home is now filled with one brand new teen (13) one very close pre-teen who is coming around to 12 and the other close behind at 11, so you can guess many times what they say just flies out of their mouths!

We are working to fix two small garden areas in front of our home where there were scraggly bushes and lots of rocks and weeds.  The past few weeks, the kids have been going out right after school and pulling a grocery bag full of weeds out of the area.

No, it isn't punishment and they know they can fill the bag in about 3-5 minutes and since in rains all the time in Washington, the ground is soft and the weeds pop right out.

As you can see, the weeds and rocks are prolific in this area.  The woman who lived her prior to us did an amazing job of outlining the area in rocks, but rocks and kids don't mix well.

Hubby purchased a half pallet full of block Friday and yesterday morning asked me if the kids could just fill a few buckets full as the dump will take them.

Grandson jumped to it, filled a buck and a half quickly before church.  Diva girl however coming to that age where everything is questioned...asked me why the rocks had to be moved. I explained why and how nice it was going to look.

She then looks at me, rolls her eyes and said, 'I will pick them up since I do so much more than you do around here.'  Rewind that please. Oh no she didn't!  Oh YES, she did!  The other two just took deep breaths of air, they knew she was in B I G trouble.

When we came back from church, I told her, it may look like I don't do much since by the time she gets home from school, I have everything done, dinner prepped, chores completed and yes, I know I have limitations, but now, she will do my chores and oh yes, she will fix her own dinner, do her own laundry and if she forgets something at home she will have to tell her teachers, 'I told my grandma I do more than she does, so since I forgot my __________
(fill in the blank with glasses, instrument, paper, project, permission, slip, etc.), I cannot call her to bring it in, but I can walk the 6 miles home and back to get it.

So, she dusted all the furniture and the knick knacks, she cleaned the bathroom, mopped the floors, vacuumed, made her bed, did her laundry, emptied the vacuum cleaner, did the dishes, cleaned the counters, washed the towels, made my bed, picked up all the clothes left on the bathroom floor and she fixed her own dinner.

This morning she got up and asked, 'what is for breakfast?' I told her she was doing my chores now, she would have to figure it out and BTW, she needed to let her sister know her laundry was in the dryer and it needed to be taken out and when her sister got hers, since her brother was sleeping, she needed to buy his laundry in the dryer.'  She didn't bat an eye, just did as requested to do.

Then, she brought me her house key and said, 'Ranny, I found this in my carrier with my pj's and shampoo, I am sorry I told you that you had it and I didn't really look for it.'

Hmmmm, I am thinking she is getting the hint, that while at times it may look like I don't do much, there is really a lot of things I do that they just don't see.

Oh and the yard?

Hubby planted 4 Boxwood shrubs, Diva girl laid some rocks down very nicely between the deck and the house access (white box) and laid rocks behind the Boxwood.  When she was done without being asked, she raked the area, I tossed on some Preen weed preventer and she watered it really well.

Today, the chores are done, I will get the bills out and sit her down and show her how to do that next. I figure ten minutes on the budget and she will realize that my job and the many hats I wear are not all the time seen, but they should be all the time respected!

This sure beats grounding her or taking away her IPOD and taught her that she CAN do her own laundry and do it well and that I DO more than they will ever notice.

Funny, they will come home from a friends and say, their house is really messy, their house smells, their dog poops on the floor and it is gross and yet, they haven't put it together why our house isn't that way.

They will and I know it is just this stage, but they have to realize our house doesn't smell because I keep it from smelling, I let the dog out all day so it doesn't poop inside.  Deep down, I really believe they appreciate not living in a hoarding house.

Then again, with all the quilts and supplies I have, maybe, they aren't to sure!



1 comment:

Sara said...

Good for you! And it sounds like she is a very bright young lady who is figuring it out already just how much you really do. They'll thank you someday.

My girls had to do their own laundry beginning in 6th grade and that sure cut down on the laundry frustrations. When they left for college both laughed at friends who had no clue about doing their own laundry or they hauled it home to mom on weekends.