Sorry For The Silence

This year, I feel like a guinea pig or a lab rat. Not a human guinea pig because I have been put through so many tests and exams and as the dust settles, we still have no answers!

I have had some really distressing neurological things going on and have had head CT Scan, MRI, nerve testing, blood work and yet nothing is showing up. I should be jumping up and down, however when I fall out of the blue, lean over out of the blue, have lip tremors, stutter, my arms and legs shake and tremble, I forget things such as:
1-Putting a hot pan on my counter without a hot pad (guess who needs a new counter top?)
2-Fix dinner and walk away from the stove but leave the burners on.
3-Have been banned by hubby from burning real candles in house after he came home one day while I had been gone for several hours and discovered the candles burning.
4-Missed a really important meeting because I wrote it down correctly in not one but 3 places and looked at my calendar and thought it was the next day.
5-I say things that make no sense at times to anyone.
6-I don't say things I think I said and then get made when no one does what they weren't told to do that I said I did....

My docs can see things happening, but they have no idea what to do.

We began walking this summer after dinner each night and my granddaughter noticed I was wheezing and breathing hard. I said it was hot, but she was right, I have a very difficult time walking even short distances, so to the doctor for two cardiac stress tests and you guessed it...inconclusive!

We have determined that I have numerous bone spurs and severe arthritis in my neck and C-spine and while the neurologist said it would be best to do a fusion, we both decided it doesn't bother me enough at this time to do it.

Two weeks ago, I got up and my foot was painful and within a few hours it was extremely swollen to the point I was taken to the ER by hubby.  The finding? Cysts and severe arthritis in my foot and you guessed it, they want to do a fusion.

The docs took me off all my medication for pain which was no fun, that set me back weeks on doing anything but relying on family to help with even tying my shoes.

So now we start the process of adding my meds back one at a time. Have they helped by removing them? NO!

I am also undergoing physical therapy because my back hurts all the time and my surgeon wants to do a Myelogram but my insurance company says I have to go though PT first which hurts.

In addition to all of my medical issues, on July 11th we received the baby sister (9 years old) of the three grandchildren we are raising and it has caused so much stress in our home.

I now have so much empathy and understanding of how step-parents feel because this has not been the 'go with the flow,' easy mix we thought it would be.

This little girl comes with many issues that I am not sure any of us were prepared for and by the end of each evening, I am left feeling completely drained.

I hope soon to do more positive posting!