Monday, January 26, 2009
An Awesome Papa
Perhaps I don't say it enough, but the kids are so very blessed to have the most awesome Papa in the whole world. I mean, he is really there for them when they need him and in spite of his odd little habits that sometimes drive me bonkers, he is amazing!
Last night he came home to dinner and found out how much help I had gotten from the oldest and told me I love you, but I think I love her more, her cooking is amazing. Of course she had this huge grin on her face and then to show me she was on his side while we were watching a show and I told him I was going to change the channel, she jumped up and took the remotes so I couldn't and took them to him in his office. What a conspiracy!
Later when it was brownie time the girls told him he could have as big a piece as he wanted. He took a huge piece and while the kids were laughing, Shyann looks up and tells me, 'I thought you told me my Papa doesn't like sweets or chocolate very much.' Of course the entire kitchen just burst into laughter.
He was very concerned about Jonathan last evening so he put him on the couch to sleep and today, it was Papa who called work to tell them he would not be coming in, so I could work at 1/2 day at the school. Well, he gets paid for sick time and I don't, so it makes sense, he didn't have to, but he did it for all of us.
He disco dances with them and oh, if I could just get a video and put it on my blog and you could see how funny it all is, or when all three of them are trying to get something from him and they think they are winning and he stands up and they slide down on the floor giggling.
He cleans up puke, he washes blankets, he washes clothes, he combs the girls hair, he takes them to school and picks them up twice a week, he goes to all their special little events, he takes them roller skating and (yes he skates with them) a few times a month, he unconditionally loves them and shows them love, respect and fairness.
We aren't spring chickens and we don't have a ton of money to spend on these little ones, but they are such blessings to us and I know we are their solid foundation that they depend on. They love doing little things and I have never seen them complain much.
They love going to visit their 'Uncle John,' and having him come to visit us. They love going to the local parks and running around, going to the ocean and Olympia. They are amazing children and when people ask us how can you do this, why are you doing this, I don't think I could ever do what you are. I simply tell them, we are the ones who are blessed!
Yes, there are many grandparents who can't or won't do what we are. As a police dispatcher so many times I heard grandparents ask me for the number to CPS to come get 'these kids,' their daughter or son had dropped off days or weeks ago. Contact CPS to come and get their own grandchildren? Now, I don't understand that one. It broke my heart to think there are people who would rather have their grandchildren go into the foster care system than to take care of them or other grandparents who never visit, call or write to those living with grandparents.
Don't come to me making excuses because in my mind, there isn't any short of a serious illness.
No, I am NOT driving my Hyundai Santa Fe that I had my heart set on when I abruptly had to get a mini-van. No, I don't have my own sewing or prayer room as I did before they came to live with us. Sometimes at night, I am the one sleeping on the couch because one or two little ones had bad dreams or got cold. We have no retirement savings in the bank at all and that worries me. But who cares? I have happiness in my home and joy in my heart and I think most grandparents would tell you the same thing.
But I wouldn't change a thing with the exception of being able to buy a bigger house with a larger yard or a house the same size with a larger yard so these precious children would have a place to run and play. My heart breaks that they have no yard to play in or explore, but that won't stop me from loving them and feeling special when I am with them!
If someone is sick or disabled, I can see not being able to care for your grandchildren, but many of the people I have known who aren't raising their grandchildren are not doing so for selfish reasons and trust me I have heard the excuses as they try to make me understand why they can't do this. Please, find someone who will understand, because I don't!
Oh, we belong to this and that committee or club and couldn't possible take the kids with us. We would love to have the children, but our home isn't large enough. How could we possibly take the children when there are 2/3 or 4 of them? We just can't deal with the kids parents. The excuses go on and on and they are all transparent.
So, to those of us and those of you who stepped up to the plate, who sacrificed whatever it was to do what we are doing (and how many of us think it is a sacrifice?), who get up in the morning to smiles and laughter or kids fighting and arguing. Who go to bed exhausted and wondering how they will get up tomorrow and do it all over again, who stay home so the children have stability when they walk in the door, who scrape and save just to buy ice cream at Baskin Robbins once a month or go to McDonalds, this is for you:
THANK YOU FOR STEPPING UP AND LOVING THESE CHILDREN AS ONLY GRANDPARENTS CAN!! YOU ARE SPECIAL AND WHAT YOU ARE DOING DOES MATTER!
You have chosen to make the ultimate sacrifice to make sure children grow up in a home surrounded by love and safety and that after all is the most important thing to a child. All the rest is fluff!
No, you didn't do wrong raising your own child(ren), once they turn 18 they are on their own and you can't blame yourself for their mistakes. Just ask me, I would be more than happy to tell you how wonderful you are!