Tuesday, January 20, 2009

B is for Beauty

I am now onto my next letter of the alphabet and that is b for Beauty. So, what is beauty and how is it measured? We have all heard that beauty is only skin deep and there are shows all over television exploited beauty but what is beauty really? If you check out the meaning over at Websters it is something that exalts the mind or spirit. Doesn't define it though does it?

How about beauty is in the eye of the beholder? Has anyone been watching the new realty show with the 10 people who truly think they are so hot that they deserve to be the most beautiful person in the world? What garbage! What comes out of some of those peoples mouths when they talk, their bad behavior, their back stabbing, makes me wish all but about 1 of them off the show and so far, CJ has been to the chopping block twice and been saved. Why? Nothing to do with his outer beauty, but because of his compassion for others.

I had higher expectations for all of them, but quickly I am becoming disappointed in each one as they are truly so conceited and into themselves that you just want to tell them to get real! I am enjoying the show though as each ones arrogance gets them bounced & hoping the judges keep to their guns about inner beauty in the up coming weeks. I am not even sure CJ who has been up for the axe twice has figured it out, but he has been true to himself and has even told others how disappointed in their treatment of one of the girls.

Beauty, we should all strive to be beautiful on the inside and reach out to others. Inner beauty turns hate to love, it is caring and kind, has strength to protect the weak, etc.

That doesn't give us as women, an excuse to look sloppy. It also doesn't give us an excuse to spend money we don't have on things we can't afford, buy clothes we don't & won't wear, use the word sale to justify buying make-up we never wear or buying things and hiding them from our spouse.

I used to be the shoe queen and looking back at the many years I was a shoe collector, I don't even get it myself but I really didn't need 20 pairs of sandals or (I am embarrassed to admit) 10 pair of Crocs (ugh! while comfortable, they really are one ugly shoe).

Don't get me wrong, I am used to going shopping and dropping $100 in make-up or perfume and then never using it unless we went out and that was rare or sometimes when I was working.

WAIT!! STOP THE TRAIN!! I WORE IT AT WORK OR WHEN WE WENT OUT! So, who was I trying to impress? Not my husband, he loves my face as it is when it doesn't have a fresh coat of paint on it. He has seen me at my worst...post op with tubes and needles all over, my hair matted, going through a depression and wearing nothing but a ratty tee-shirt and sweats and the most hideous thing I wore was a flannel short set with matching tee-shirt that was awful.

This year, I decided I want to change that. I want Jerry to see the best side of me each day which means tossing out most of my ugly clothing and buying new when I can. He made me see this on Christmas when he bought me 4 really pretty sweaters and sweatshirts. It made me think if he is buying me things, maybe he wants to see me look nicer once in awhile. Not that he would complain about how I look.

This man is my husband! He has put up with me longer than my parents/stepparents and an ex-husband ever did. He moved to Washington because his wife wanted to move and he loves me so much, so why should he get the sloppy me?

So, in addition to working on my attitude...I guess I am working on my beauty, but not just looking better, but acting better. Showing my husband the respect he deserves and being kind. If we have deep inner beauty and look like slobs to our husbands, I don't think we are giving them respect either.

You don't have to wear make-up if you don't normally wear it, but don't wear it only for work or special occassions and not for your husband. Look nice, comb your hair, wear some lipstick or gloss (my grandmother never went outside without lipstick and she always told me a lady never leaves home without her lipstick).

When you leave your house, look presentable. Want to see ugliness in action?

Case #1- I had just had an interview for a job as a police dispatcher. Several days later, hubby and I decide to run to Home Depot for more paint, so I wore my grubbies...cut off sweats, no bra and run smack into the man who interviewed. All I could do was cross my arms and hope he didn't notice how red my face was.

Case#2- We were being harrassed one day, this guy almost ran us over in his car, then chased us into a parking lot, parked next to us and he and his wife were screaming and yelling and cursing & I was just as ugly back then, cursing back and then I mooned the guy! Never in my life had I ever done that & still do not know what possessed me and looked up and a man I had respect for that did hiring for a local city, was standing looking straight at me. Oh yeah, I was beautiful that day and until we left Arizona, I never applied for a job at that city because I knew he would never forget how ugly I was that day.

Case 3-All dressed up for a concert, nice clothes, hair perfect. Ran into a store, the clerk told me she would be right with me, another woman came up, the clerk came back and started to help the other person. Now, I could have politely corrected her, NO, I was very nasty about it & worse, after it was over as she was apologizing and telling me I didn't have to be so mean, I tell her when you have money you don't have to be nice. Money?? I had like $100 with me.

In any of those cases, had I been dressed up or looked beautiful, the inner uglies that I displayed would have made me appear ugly.

The bible tells us to not worry about adornment on the outside, but to be kind, respectful to our husbands, have a soft heart even if they are unbelievers.

All I am saying is when it comes to beauty, you get more flies with honey as my mom used to tell me than with vinegar.

Be beautiful this week, practice being beautiful to and for your spouse and let me know if he changes. I know I have slipped this past week on attitude, but apologized for it quickly. However, I have noticed my husband is coming home and saying his day was good compared to a few weeks ago when it was always bad.

You love them, you married them, you choose to stay for better or worse. Do yourselves a favor and practice attitude and beauty and let me know how it works!

Look your best on the outside and act your best on the inside, not just for strangers, but your spouse, I bet they will take notice!

1 comment:

Dayna said...

If someone is being "ugly" then smile and show them love.
Anger only hurts your inner self. The other person doesn't feel a thing.
Don't hold a grudge as the stress of it shortens your life.
Always, always, always let loved ones know that you love them....each and every day. You never know when they may never come home again.
Keep up the good work.