Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Gods Plans

I just returned from my doctor's office and they will be putting me on a round of Prednisone for my back problems in the hopes it will help. I will be surprised, but if that is what it takes to get the ball rolling then so be it. The problem is, I have severe degenerative disc disease from L1-L5 and my orthopedic physician in Arizona told me nothing short of surgey is going to put this in check. I can go for months and even a few years before it flairs up, but then when it does, I am almost resigned to being on my feet all of the time as sitting, bending, stooping, laying just makes it worse.

What is worse, is after 10 days on this horrible medication (I hate medication, I hate Steroids more!), I will be subjected to the brutal and painful process known as physical therapy. Don't get me wrong, I have had PT where it works wonders (strained back, broken legs, tennis elbow, etc.) and I have also had it over and over again for my back and it doesn't work! They are not going to strengthen muscles that I no longer have & that is their cure all for me, to strengthen my abs.

So, after 5 separate abdominal surgeries where each surgeon just cut and sewed up where they wanted without regard to my ab muscles, along comes the PT guys in white coats thinking they can fix my problem! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, WRONG ANSWER!!
What it will do is exacerbate the problem because of all the leg lifts, bending, etc. they expect me to do. But all is fair in the name of insurance I guess!

So, I am on my way to the Dr. today and driving down the Olympic Highway or HWY 101 whatever it is called from our end & beginning to get a bit nervous as I cross over the Wynoochie River. The farms close by are under water, the tributary has gone over the banks and the water is nigh on close to the road & I mean close!

Local school bus pick up has been cut back due to flooded roads, we are already hearing of land slides and there is only one way to get to Olympia and that is via HWY 12 which could wind up under a land slide of under water shortly. But the beautiful thing about all of this, is the people that live in the area are hardy and accept what is going on and know they can't change it so why complain?

Which leads me to my title, Gods Plans. What are Gods plans when it comes to my life or your lives? Some of us have lived in the same small or large town all our lives and know everyone and others like myself have lived in places from New York to Washington and have a few wonderful friends in my life that are with me for the long haul. Why is that? Why is it that God gives some of us permanent stability and others gypsy feet? Trust me, I fit the gypsy profile as far as wandering is concerned.

Do some of us 'get it,' early on so we don't have to move around to discover our purpose in life? Are the rest of us a box of rocks that can't figure it out or does God want to make us more diverse? I know that when I travel around the United States, I am shocked by others cultures and can't figure it out. Why is it so many people are afraid of change? Dislike newcomers? Only want to work with friends or family? Believe that certain colors of our skin, our gender, ages, etc. allow us some special status in life?

Me, I am a shaker! Oh yeah, but I am sure by now that doesn't surprise any of you. I want to be that giant spoon that stirs the tiny pot, I want to be the one person in the group that heads north while everyone is going south, I don't want to accept status quo because 'someone said so,' and that gets me into trouble, but truth is, God put me on this earth for that purpose & that is to make people think out of the box. It hasn't gotten me a new job here, but teaching is where God wants me now.

So, how do we find what God wants for us? I believe we must follow closely John 15:5 which tells us that 'I (God) am the vine, you (humanity) are the branches. Whoever lives in Me (God) and I (God) in him (humanity) will bear much fruit, apart from Me (God), we can do nothing.' (Paraphrase from the NAS Bible).

This example was shown clearly to me one day as I was reading and thinking over this passage at my kitchen table and watched a sparrow land on a tree in my back yard. Though the bird never flew away, he moved from branch to branch until all of a sudden he blended in with the tree. That is what God wants from us, to have a relationship so close to Him that we cannot be pulled apart, that we blend in, that others know in an instant what we stand for without even having to ask. That is how close we should be to God.

Trust me, I fall short of this in so many ways:
  1. Nine out of ten days (if I am not working), you can find me dressed like a bum...baggy exercise pants, sweats, crop pants and a tee shirt with no make-up and my hair looking like I just crawled out of bed (well, it is natural curly and short, so even fixed up, it looks this way at times). Generally, not fit for company and especially not fit to go to town dressed that way or for my husband when he comes home. **I do always have lipstick on when I go out though!**
  2. When I loose my patience, instead of walking away, I yell & yes, I am working on this one!
  3. I don't pray as much as I should
  4. I don't read the Word as I should
  5. I rarely witness to anyone
I don't want to be known as 'ONE OF THOSE,' who go to church on Sundays and the rest of the week does what she wants to. I want to fulfill Gods purpose in my life and the only way I can see to do that is to begin walking more intimately with my Abba Father, because when I do that, when I draw nearer to Him, He will give me the directions for my life & I have His Word on it!

I am here today, the result nothing short of a miracle, the small little girl who didn't have a chance at life 50 years ago who parents kept searching, kept fighting until someone stood up and said, we can do the surgery and gave me a chance at life! Don't tell me, God doesn't have something planned for me even this late in life, I know better!

1 comment:

Cathy said...

We are all here with special gifts to give. Sometimes we don't even realize all the great things we are doing. The stories of love you share for your grandchildren is a motivation to me and others. Cathy