A Day of Contemplation

Anyone who truly knows me, knows I am a classic Leo, a type A personality, when things need to be done, I am the one pushing the wagon up the hill and no matter how much it hurts, I keep pushing. I am a leader, I am the one people come to when they need help and can't figure things out for themselves, I am the one who took 8 years to complete her associates degree and then in less than 3 years obtained 2 bachelors and a masters. I did my homework for several years before we moved to Washington & today was no different.

I was having just really odd dreams last night, so got up for a few hours and I know it was the known/unknown of my moms condition that got me up. I can't fight this for her, I can't make a phone call and it will all go away, I can't will it to go away and I can't fight this like I can many other causes, but I can do my best to help.

I spent the morning on the telephone with the Cancer Treatment Centers of America, Susan G. Komen Foundation and when I was done, I was ready to ask questions or should I say have my mom ask questions. I gave her the questions the Komen Foundation felt should be asked & I told her to ask her doctors all of them and make sure they took the time she needed to understand & I told her to get a second opinion. Whether she does or not remains to be seen, but I am hoping she will.

I also told her with the new HIPA laws, she needed to decide which one of her children she wanted to be the point man for the doctors. I feel my step father will have his hands full with taking care of my moms needs, not only with this but she recently had hand surgery and is prone to blood clots. With all of this on his plate, he doesn't need to worry about trying to understand everything and calling all 4 of us. So, I told her to make sure all her doctors and nurses listed one of us as contact. Most importantly, I gave her the days and times of two support groups as I feel these groups will be very important for her recovery.

My dad said it needs to be me, because I am the one that keeps in contact with my mom and the easiest to reach. The family breaks down like this. My brother and I get along great, we don't talk often, but we love each other very much and would help each other all we could. He also gets along with sister #1 & #2. Sister #1 is going through her own family problems right now so probably wouldn't be the best choice until all that is worked out. Sister #2 never stays in contact with any of us and all her calls are intercepted by her husband. Sister #1 & #2 get along well with each other. I have medical training, no one else does. My brother is a man of few words, so probably he would be the best go between.

We will know more tomorrow when my mom gets back from the Cancer Center and speaking with her surgeon. As many know about this disease, they may not have answers until after they operate, but I am hoping they have a few tomorrow.

So, after I made all the calls to my sons, my moms best friend and another family friend, I took the advice of Patrick Lose and did something for myself. I sat all day at the quilting frame in front of the fireplace, praying and quilting. No radio on, no television, just me and the crackling fire. It gave me a chance to relax and talk to my Lord.

I went to the quilt shop to pick up a non-permanent marker and came back with a little gadget that makes chalk lines. WOW!! I felt like a construction worker with that little gadget. My husband is always using chalk lines for things, only I don't have to 'snap' this, it just glides and my handquilting looks much nicer. The girls even helped me with a few of the stitches.

Several months ago I wrote my mom and her husband asking them to move closer to us or even all of us purchasing a larger home and them having a floor to themselves. I wonder now, if God was telling me something?

Right now, I want to thank all of your for your prayers and wonderful uplifting Emails, I have cried today, I have dried my tears, I have talked to good friends, I have prayed and I have laughed. It truly has been a day of contemplation!