Wednesday, April 29, 2009

If You Don't See Me For Awhile

Lately, as I have sat down to blog, I feel so exhausted and zapped of strength that I think I need to take a few days or a week off. I am just feeling like I have no strength left and everything in my life is kind of piling up right now.

1- My moms cancer has really been on my mind day and night and even in my dreams. I know that breast cancer can be put in remission, my mom is 71 years old and she will have to endure Chemo. I have worked with patients enduring chemo, it is tough.
2- I want to be with my mom and help her out where I can. However, I must have surgery on my back between May 19th and June 19th. I cannot go another year in the pain I feel.
3-My pain has exacerabated in my back and my Fibromyalgia has flared up again.
4- Hubby has been sick for several days and I worry so much about him.
5- School is coming to an end in June and the kids are showing signs of knowing it. Today, I received 43 letters from 7/8 graders whose behavior the other day was awful and this is a class I love to teach!
6- I have been around puking children several times this week.
7-I am not sleeping again.

I feel so whiny and ungrateful, but I am not. It is just so many things going on and I am pooped!
My youngest son got married today and we didn't have the money to be there. We haven't had the money to see our newest grandchild or visit our son in prison. We have no money for new tires on our car. Yet, I am thankful we have jobs, even if hubby has to work 6 days a week to make ends meet, we have jobs.
I can't keep up with my housework anymore! While I got busy cleaning out closets on Sunday and filling a box up for donation, I haven't been able to do much else this week as I am so exhausted and in pain all the time!
I am worried about my back surgery. Will it help? Will it hurt more? Will I be able to go back to work in September? How will the family hold up with me out of the house for 7 - 10 days? So much to do before then...deep cleaning, freezing food, stocking up.
Then there are the bills that will pile up because my last check will be in July and then not again until October.
With the move to Aberdeen just under 2 years ago and so much happening here, I am just dragging!
So, if you don't hear from me in awhile, you will know I am trying to rest up!



I just had to leave a comment :)

Im so sorry to hear things are not going so well right now. That is just to much for a person to deal with at one time.

My thoughts are with you, please take care and get some much needed rest. Dawn

Knitting Granny said...

Jean - you are now in my prayers. When my life is just "too much" I try to give my worries, pain, grief, etc. to God. I know that sounds simplistic, but it helps me. Peace, joy and comfort for you...

Melinda Cornish said...

Oh Jean! I wish I was there just to give you a hug and help you clean! You know me, cleaning is my thing...note that I didnt say organization but cleaning, I am good at! Things will get better and I will pray for you like I always do!!!!

Cathy said...

You have a lot on your plate right now. However, I have no doubt that everything will work out the way it is intended. You have a lovely outlook on life and that will guide you through these hardtimes. Good luck with the surgery and sending healing thoughts to your mom.

Sherry said...

I haven't been a good blogging friend lately! I'm sorry things aren't going well lately! I wish I could help! I'm sure things will get better soon!

Hugs to you Jean!