Wednesday, May 6, 2009

If I Die...What A Question

As we were crawling into bed last evening, my hubby asked me, 'if I die, will you stay in this house.' So many things began to race through my head such as why would he ask me this question? What is he thinking asking me this question? What would happen should he pass on before me? My day was filled with these thoughts rushing in my head.

First of all, I don't have a full-time job, so if he died, I couldn't afford to live in an apartment, let alone keep our home.

Second, we cannot afford to put central heat in our home and heat our home in the winter with wood. I couldn't load, unload, stack and chop wood all winter. So, I guess the house wouldn't be kept.

This house was built in 1926, it needs electrical redone, new cabinets, new flooring (we have put on a new roof, windows and doors) I couldn't afford to do this through a contractor.

So, I guess my answer to him when he gets home, is that he can't die until all the work is done! ONLY JOKING!

The truth is, I do not know what I would do without him, I would be absolutely lost and without a doubt, I would NOT stay in this home!

On the other hand, his memories would be here, his smell, I am not sure how I would answer that question, why he would ask or what would happen to us, but I know somehow, we would make it with broken hearts!

What a question to ask your spouse!

2 comments:

Melinda Cornish said...

this question scares me Jean...I am sure you know why? talk to him about it!!! It sounds like you are having rough times and I am sorry about your sons dilemma...what a frustrating thing! sometimes life is unfair and you just need to throw a big tantrum...or go hit something...my heart is with you!

Rannyjean said...

Melinda I love you so much! Yes, I understand !