Monday, October 5, 2009

Have You Ever...

Unless you are currently in the medical field or have worked in the medical field or been close to someone who is dying, there is an omenous sound towards the end of someones life and it has always been very distinguishable to me as long as I can remember. People who just go to sleep and never wake up, don't have it.

It isn't a wheezing sound like you would get from Asthma or possibly a cold, it is a deep wet sounding rattle or gurgle and while hearing this doesn't tell you when someone is going to die, you can bet that persons life is growing very short.

As many of you know, my mom has cancer and has had trouble off and on with her Chemo treatments. While she breezed through her radiation, the chemo hasn't been as kind. Mom doesn't vomit, but within a day or two she winds up with severe abdominal pain.

She is in the hospital now where she has been for several days. I was told by her husband they keep talking about sending her home and he feels she is getting a bit stronger. I called the hospital and while mom is no longer in ICU, these last round of treatments (blood transfusions, platelets, electrolyte replacement (she had none of her own) and treatment for a UTI, it wasn't what my mom was saying today that I heard, it was what her lungs were telling me long distance over the telephone.

My mom has death rales. I could hear her lungs today crackling and rattling with each word and breath she took. She tells me her husband can no longer care for her so she is going into a nursing home...hell I said! She is worried about my back, but I am worried about the lack of care she would get in an already stretched to the limits nursing home.

I told her I can cook, I can help her with changing dressings, etc. . I am thinking once I get down there, I will look into Hospice for her and I think her husband will accept Hospice if someone is there with him. I have never lost a parent, but I can tell you this, I am not going to loose one in a nursing home.

At this time, things are pretty bleak! Not just for my mom, but for us. Our bills are stacking up, we owe the IRS (less than $600 but it is an owe), I do not know how we will pay for the trip there and right now, I don't care. I just know my mom needs me and I will figure the rest out later!

I cancelled work today and I am waiting to hear from her doctor to let me know what the game plan is. In the meantime, prayers are so needed!

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