Wednesday, November 4, 2009

My Mom's Journey

My mom is an only child so it goes without saying as a child we had no aunts, uncles or cousins on my moms side....none that I knew.

My grandfather had one brother and they had a falling out at one time or another, so we never met him that I recall and most of my grandmothers family had passed on years before my birth.

It was our grandparents that we did everything with...Disneyland, Sea World, holidays and vacations.
My mom has cancer that has metastasized and as many of you know, I went on an emergency trip to California several weeks ago and fully at the time thought my mom would be gone before we made it to see her. When we did see her, I ran out of the Hospice House she was in and I thought I was prepared for this. I AM NOT!!
I mean honestly, what do you do when your mom passes on? Who do you call when you are sick or in pain? Who do you call when you want to cry or laugh or share something special with? What in the hell do you do on Mothers Day? The picture above is my mom and grandmother on my parents property back in the 70's & 80's.
My mom was closer I believe to my grandfather than my grandmother. Although mom loved both of her parents very very much, I always had the feeling growing up that she really was much closer to grampa than gramma.

This picture is of my mommy with her daddy when grampa was in the skilled nursing facility. You can tell by the picture how much they love each other.

My mom has such a great smile her and her fingers hadn't been ravished by arthritis at this time. Grampa's face just seems to beam. My moms hair never grayed, so the black hair she has here is natural!

My mom had a wonderful childhood full of adventures in ranching, raising and training horses and moving around the United States as my grandparents were horse owners and Harness Horse racers. I do not think I ever heard my mom once complain about having a hard or terrible childhood.

Today, my mom called and she was surprised at how no one had told her how close to death she had come several weeks ago (I guess I thought she knew) until one of her nurses told her today that she was their miracle and that my grandchildren were my moms miracle. After talking to her this evening, I wondered if she even remembers any part of that week??

We cannot fool ourselves, my mom is dying...I do not think they have done any testing to see if she has been miraculously healed, but I know those babies did something for my mom that day and there isn't a doubt in my mind she came back for them! She didn't come back for her husband, me, my siblings or anyone else, she came back for her grandbabies!

This last picture is of my mom as a young girl probably 18 or so with 2 friends of hers. My mom is the tall girl on the left. I had to show this so everyone could see how beautiful she was as a young girl and that her choice of hairstyles over the years didn't seem to change.

Love ya mom!


searchfamilies said...

Prayers for you & your family, i know what it like having lost my own mum last year each time they get ill the panic of that this may be it sets in i pray that your mum don't suffer too much but has quite a while still with a good quality of life
Hugs Janice

Melinda Cornish said...

it is going to be terrible...that is the fact of the matter...but you will get thru it Jean because of your great faith! I always pray for you and yours.....