Friday, April 9, 2010

What Is Wrong??

I do not wear my feelings on my sleeve, but I do consider myself compassionate. However, in the last month, I have met 3 gentlemen who have all been married for more than 25 years each whose wives all of a sudden dumped them and as silly as this sounds, it has broken my heart!

Before you tell me there are 2 sides to every story....I want to explain to you that all 3 of these men were crushed to the core. None have remarried and 2 are still very much grieving the loss of their spouses.

None of them were abusive, all 3 worked very hard and still do. One was getting ready to retire and sell his business, he and his wife were going to Europe to travel when he came home one day and she told him, she didn't want to be married anymore. He lost it all. His wife, his home and his business. His wife stayed at home, raised their children, never wanted for a thing and one day he comes home and she tells him...it is over. There was NOT another man!

The second one, had raised their family and decided to pursue their dream of a ranch, they purchased the land and he and she worked it hard. Their children are all married and grown, they appeared to love each other deeply. They got custody and after several years, adopted a family members children. He was as devoted to them as any father and they kids and he were always together. His wife was always happy, amazing and bragged on how lucky she was.

Home from work one day, she hands him divorce papers. She didn't want him to move out, she just doesn't want to be tied down anymore and oh yeah, PS...due to the new adopted children, she is suing him for everything but $200 each month. No hard feelings she tells him even though she clears over $4000 a month on her own.

The last one...he says they both changed after their kids grew up and he was hardly home with his job and when he was she had changed, he had changed. Sometimes, you forget...he said to appreciate and show love for those in your daily lives.

I know my husband ticks me off royally at times, but even though I may get angry, grow frustrated, let him know how I feel...at the end of the day, there is no place I would rather be than falling asleep next to him and hearing him tell me how much he loves me.

Wow! After all those years together, wouldn't counseling have helped? I am not saying this to hear people talk about how there are 2 sides to every story, I am just saying if you are so in love with someone and you give them over 30 years of your life...that person is a keeper in my book as long as they aren't abusive or a drunkard (none of these guys are by the way).

Wow! No words, just Wow! What a heart breaker!

2 comments:

Deb said...

And even then..counseling may not help. My best gf in the world is staring down the barrel of divorce after almost 32 years. Hubby has just decided that since the kids are grown, he's fulfilled his duty and now it time for some 'me time'. For 2 years she's fought the battle of trying to save her marriage and he tells her, "I don't see what the problem is"...it is SO very sad. She is a strong Christian and he claims Christianity, but his fruit is sure showing a different story..

Rannyjean said...

Maybe that is it in all these cases Deb...empty nest syndrome. After you spend years running your children to ballet and ball games, doing so much for them, I sometimes wonder if parents forget the one thing my grandmother told me many years ago...spend time with your husband(wife), do small things for them that make them smile, keep them happy, show them you love them because in the end when the kids are grown and gone...they are all you have left!
I took it to heart. Still...for these men and women, it breaks my heart!