Who is it that decides when someone else should or should not grieve the loss of a loved one or even a pet and for how long someone should grieve?
This subject has really hacked me off lately and I can't believe how high and mighty some people are. I remember many years ago when my son who was 18 months old passed away and people telling me things like: 'you can have more!' Like I can replace a child or 'in time, you will get over this,' FYI people, it has been over 30 years and I still haven't gotten over it!
Recently I heard of a woman who lost her husband after 50 years of marriage, I am 54, so I know 50 is a long time to spend a life with someone and after just 5 weeks someone walked up to her and told her, 'don't you think it is just time to get over it?'
Who are these people? Have they ever lost anyone or anything in their life? I seriously doubt it. Others I believe are just to incapable of feeling empathy for anyone but themselves.
There are stages of grief...denial, anger, guilt, depression....a whole slew of feelings, emotions, sorting through life being on your own again whether you have been married a short time, forever, whether it is a parent. You just don't, get over it in a day, a week or even a month!
You aren't helping someone by telling them to get over it, get on with it, things will get better. Just be there for them. That's all they want. They want someone to listen to them, hold them when they cry, tell them they aren't loosing their mind.
It's okay for them to burst into tears on a birthday, anniversary, during a special song, a family gathering, at the mention of someone's name. Give them time to adjust to what has happened.
My husband is my second skin. He helps me in all areas with the kids, appointments, the house, cooking. He encourages me, discourages me when I need, he calms me when I need calming, he is my rock, my solid foundation and trust me when I say I need someone in my life to keep me focused and on task or I can spin out of whack on my own.
To go up to someone and tell them it is time they get over it....I don't get it! But I do know we all deal with things in our own way. Be there, be strong and be kind!