Friday, May 6, 2011


I love words! Anyone who knows me will tell you I can talk and do a mile a minute and if I am quiet, that is when you need to worry. I remember when I was in 7th or 8th grade, our teacher made a point to visit all students at home. When she advised my parents what a terrific and quiet student I parents asked her if she was in the right home!

My oldest granddaughter has been tossing around words lately like:
Antidisestablishmentarianism, accoutrement & other words that someone in the 4th grade might know how to pronounce, but the we discussed that if she was going to say the words, then she had to learn the meanings as well. I did after all!

I have always been one to use long words, but I use them in such a way that it is normal and most people who know me know it is a part of who I am. That and 3 college degree's and yes, I know some of you who really know me are laughing right now.

But, what about other words? I am a very honest, up front person. I say things as I see them and sometimes, I guess I get on peoples nerves. For that, if I offend you, tell me. I may not change my ways, but I will be more careful what I say around you.

I was born in New York, lived my life in Florida, New Jersey, Delaware, Rhode Island, Missouri, Nevada, California, Arizona & Washington. That doesn't make me special, just a bit well traveled and more seasoned than people that have lived in the same place all their lives and never been anywhere. Oh yes, growing up I only wished we could have stayed put!

When we moved to Washington, it was a dream come true and many years of prayers answered. I wanted to come back to a place I felt comfortable in, where I could find a job and raise my grandchildren. However, I didn't realize moving to a small town we would be treated like true outsiders.

I tried volunteering for local charities and city governments since I had worked for a city for over 12 years & was told they couldn't use the help. I have applied for many jobs and was even told by one company I wasn't qualified to be a receptionist. Of course my reply was,' hmmm, 12 years as a police dispatcher answering telephones and training others to answer them and now working as a teacher & you say I can't answer phones.'

Lots of other jobs have come & gone. We have gone to school plays, recitals, etc. where we are basically ignored while the locals gather together. For me it is no biggie for my grands, it hurts them.

Not everyone is this way. My good friend accepted us right away. Ray, our 94 year old neighbor (we miss him very much) accepted us, other neighbors, teachers. This town is great for raising children so they can be children.

However, this town does not want to move forward and it is something that I need to accept or learn to shut my mouth over as my friend told me last night. 'I love ya but your constant putting this town down irks me.'

I listened to her with an open mind and then we talked about seeing things from anothers perspective. Come into the first 3 towns and what do you see I asked her...'clean streets (this is HUGE), no pan handlers, businesses that are open and people that are smiling.'

Now, come into our town and what do you see? She was beginning to understand what I was seeing & feeling. I don't hate this place I said, I enjoy the beauty, the peacefulness, the fact my grandchildren are happy. But I don't like the depression in this town and many people feel it. She agreed.

So, when I was done, I understood her point and will keep my opinions to myself and she understood my feelings. That is what words are about...conveying a message that all people can understand. Even if that means, keeping silent to keep a friendship.


Scrappy quilter said...

Do you have to keep silent though to keep a friendship I'm wondering. I never thought you had too. That's what friendship is, speaking what we feel knowing that the friendship will remain. Thoughts!! Hugs

Quiltingranny said...

No, but she seems to believe I am overly critical,so I will stop talking to her about our little town.
She is a doll and I don't want to hurt her precious feelings at all.

Robin said...

It sounds like you are trying to find THE BALANCE. You don't want to lose your voice, because that is no way to live, but you don't want to lose your friends, either. It is figuring out how to say things with kindness. And it sounds like these folks are overly touchy because they see it as their town. Maybe when you talk about the town, make sure you call it our town, my town. Use words to indicate that you consider it your town, too. That way when you talk about making it better, it is improving OUR town. Just a thought. I hope it gets better.