Faith Tested

As many of you my readers know, I have been traveling between home and a new job about 200 miles roundtrip. It has been an exciting journey for a job I did for many years. I was hired 8 weeks ago on a contingency my hearing would pass their criteria with hearing aids.

Three doctors reports and numerous tests with and without aid, only proved I have a moderate hearing loss. Probably from wearing an inner ear headset for over 12 years, but I have no proof of that, so we really do not know.

On Monday, there was a glimmer of hope as I was told only one ear had to hear at 25 DcB or above between 4-8000 Hrz. Well, my left ear hears normally to about 6500, I was in and would purchase a hearing aid for my right ear.

Wednesday, I was called out of training and met with the assistant director who was very kind and apologetic. She had misunderstood when she advised me it only had to be one ear and was very sorry, but I was being released from employment. I was stunned, then said it was okay and then cried.

It was difficult to fathom I have a hearing problem since everyone including the doctors say I can hear voices clearly. She was so sweet. She told me to take a few minutes and calm down, I was not being pushed out the door, I wasn't having to jump up and run. Take time she said, say my good-byes.

I composed myself, walked into the training room and broke down into tears. I told my co-workers they would be great dispatchers, I had to leave not because of my progression but my hearing and I wished them the very best. I also told them to make sure they switch their headsets once in awhile.

I left Wednesday pretty shell shocked, but knowing God has such a better plan for my family and I. Thursday however, I was a roller coaster of emotions. Do I say I was terminated? How do I explain this on an application? Why now? Then my car had to be repaired which cost me $786 and I fell apart and cried and cried.

My best friend kept trying to make me smile, keep me upbeat and he really did a good job, however one must know I have a type A personality so while I understand and know God is in control in my heart...my mind wants to mess with me!

I did contact Vocational Rehabilitation for our area and will meet with them later this month for an orientation and to be set up with a counselor. They will help me obtain hearing aides and help me to be retrained for another job.

I am home...already sending out applications in case that falls through! Oops, my type A is showing through!