I just finished reading Romans 8 and came to realize through this that no matter what my life has much joy in it. It is like a huge quilt with many bright patterns and colors winding through each section and even though separately it might look like a mess, when it is brought together by its maker, it turns out beautiful.
If I look back on my life in such a way, I can see that God has been creating me for His purpose since I was born and He has lovingly and gently or not so gently at times guided me along the path.
Oh yeah, I have strayed off the path and each time I have, it gets my life all jammed up into a big mess or leads me into unhappiness. God doesn't stop us from straying, He gently calls us back and we have the choice to follow or remain floundering around on our own.
Since I was released from my job on 11/9, I have had plenty of time to sit in my soup pot and stew over the what ifs, but honestly I haven't really done that because the honest truth is, I cannot change my ears or hearing, but I can figure out where God wants me next and right now, he wants my family in Grays Harbor for one reason or another.
Lets take the fact that normally, my husband would melt down at my loosing a job, but he has been so sweet and loving throughout. My best friend John who I stayed with did all he could to keep my spirits high and keep my mind from going 1000 miles per hour. These two love me and I know that and I am so blessed, but it has been my friends and church family that have totally blown me out of the water.
My pastor the first time I returned almost jumped across the church floor to hug me and tell me, 'you are the answers to my prayers...I didn't pray for you to loose your job, but I am not really sad you did because God wants you here.'
Middle girls piano teachers message to me the day I lost my job,' I am so sorry you lost your job, but so happy you will be back home and I can see you when I look outside my window.'
A letter from a church member telling me she loves me and knows this will be hard, but she has missed knowing I am here and so happy I am back.
Teachers and parents of students I have taught and yesterday another quilter whom I know just casually asked me if I was here visiting. I explained my situation and she jumped and hugged me, 'oh, I am so happy you are back.' Then sheepishly, not that you lost your job.
God is doing this. God is sending all these people to me to let me know He loves me and He does have a plan and right now that plan is for my family to remain and stay where we are. I don't know why, but I do know that yesterday for the first time in a long time, I felt this was going to be okay. 1 Peter4:13 tells us to rejoice to the extent that we are part or feel part of Christs sufferings because when His glory is revealed (and it always is), we will be glad with exceeding joy. Amen! Isn't that what it is all about? When we are down and not feeling so happy sometimes, when we are blessed are we not jumping for joy and realizing He has always known best?
Come on, do I hear an Amen, an uh huh? You know I am not the only one that walks around sometimes feeling life is unfair and then when the blessing comes and I am like, okay, I get it now, I should have waited or had patience. It's okay to shake your head while reading this, I promise, I cannot see who you are!Word is getting out about my quilting for charity and even though I was shocked by someone yesterday who told me when I asked if she would be willing to help make quilts for the homeless: 'my quilts, even the simple ones are just to good for the homeless and I wouldn't give them my time.' Wow! Thank you Lord for giving me the spirit of compassion and the gift to know when at times to keep my mouth shut! After all, I am finding out being homeless is almost like being a murderer in some peoples minds. Hey, everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
I am still looking around for that perfect home for our family where we can bring our son to and I found another on 1.5 acres has a main home, garage and a large building they were making into a huge entertainment room....would be easy to convert it. However, at this time, I have not received a response from the realtor on a lease to own. Sadly, I do not think he will respond because if we do a lease to own, he cannot earn his commission. He can gladly sell my home. Or it is just that God doesn't want us there.
Still, I know that God wants me here and I am filled with joy at that thought. I just received a letter stating my youngest granddaughter will be awarded the schools leadership honor tomorrow and it is a huge secret, she doesn't know. How sad I would have been if I had missed this opportunity to see her face when they announce her name. There are recitals and music concerts and even a tonsillectomy a few days before Christmas. I would have been so upset to not make any of these and the grands would have been devastated.
Yes, my life is like the quilt above, many colors and pieces but when you put it all together, I am Gods masterpiece made just the way He wants me to be and for that, I am joyful and thankful! Because Psalms 139:14 tells us, 'I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works and that my soul knows very well.'
This verse further goes onto say in in part verse 16: 'The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.' God knows and has known where I will be at any given moment in my life, so I can sit and stew or find joy.
Be joyful and make lots of noise!