Friday, March 23, 2012

The Sunshine is Coming Back...

I have been doing some things to change my depression and have been so very thankful to all of you for your words of encouragement, shared stories, prayers, Emails. I have been very blessed. It is a slow road to walk down and by no means have I reached the end, but I wanted to pop in and give you some updates.

I am having horrible night terrors that wake me up shaken to the core for hours. Not of monsters or demons, but just odd things, being left behind by those I love, getting lost in an unfamiliar place and not being able to find my way out. I have always been prone to night terrors since I was a child. They come and go during times of stress. I had a dream catcher once custom made by a Navajo woman at the request of her son I worked with. It worked very well and over the years and moves, it was lost.

I am not seeing a counselor right now, have to many medical appointments to complete to allow me time for that, but instead I have taken time to spend with God each day just meditating and talking to him. Not pressuring myself to read or pray, just relaxing and talking. Counseling is coming, but right now, I can cope so am good!

I have started taking 5-HTP and while it remains to be seen if this will work long term, the grands and hubby say I appear less tense and am laughing and goofing around more often and I do walk on my treadmill every other day!

I have also decided to set time to do what I enjoy, my quilting, I am reading a book by Dr. Joel Fuhrman called Eat to Live and spending time with my church family. Last week I participated in the Mystery dinner theatre we had and last night I went and learned to make a necklace.

I am spending less time on the internet and I think that has helped as well because I am not reading so many awful news stories or burning my brain out for Facebook or my blog. I do miss blogging, but I think now I can concentrate more!

On the left is a picture of my upstairs sewing closet and the small pillows you see are part of what I have affectionately come to call 'The Never Ending Quilt,' my granddaughters biscuit quilt. I have this row and one more, the backing and it will be finished. Bless her for having the patience of Job!

I understand I have PTSD possibly and not finding a job is depressing. I have decided to work on what I can change or at least try and give up on the impossible. My hearing issues have been proven to be work related from my past dispatcher experience, I am pursuing help in that area.

This last picture is of a quilt I am making for my youngest grandson. I found the fabric at a second hand shope and when I got home realized it was made for Ikea. Pretty cool colors and print and I love it and got two nice pieces, so it is either going to be hand quilted or machine quilted. I haven't decided on that yet!
I just wanted you all to know how very much I appreciate you hanging in there with me and not abandoning me or this blog.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS TO ALL)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


JustPam said...

I am so glad to hear that things are improving a little for you.

Melinda Cornish said...

my love and prayers are always with you......You need to take the pressure off yourself and just do what makes you happy for a while. I am just so happy that you got that machine...that mustve been a huge smile maker for you.