Saturday, October 27, 2012

Over Extending Ones Self

I learned this week why people say NAVY. Not because they want to sail but because to so many it means, NeverAgainVolunteerYourself or perhaps just learn to say NO!

I am not talking about the Aurora quilt project because I was just the catalyst to start that and while I have made a few (8) quilts for this, so many more have stepped up and hit it completely out of the ballpark with their generosity.

I am talking about feeling like I have to say yes to things because I am NOT working out of my home. In spite of suffering from Fibromyalgia, Arthritis, Colitis and several other things that sap my energy and get tossed about when our weather changes and stress ensues, I say yes and then regret it!

I volunteered to help an organization on a temporary basis that needed a treasurer. It has become a huge mess! I had to go to the bank and have my name added to the account, then when I went to write a corporate check it was shot down via telecheck which was NOT tied to my identification but someone elses and that took over 3 hours and several trips between the bank and the grocer just to get money needed for their Halloween party.

My Fibro flared up that day and has been in full blow hurt mode for the past 3 days now.  Who knew something so easy would turn into a huge mess.  So while I will help them open a new bank account and balance their books, I am resigning.

Then there are the people who call me to babysit when their sitters are sick or can't do it.  They not only want me to sit, they want me to pick up their child and then they don't show up when they are supposed to and I am supposed to feed that child.

What makes people think because I am retired I have nothing else to do?  It is rude to assume your child's friends grandparents will watch your child because they are friends.  Really??

This happened to me this week and the 3rd night this parent called and said can you do this tomorrow. No, sorry I can't, my husband doesn't feel well and the only time we have alone is the time the kids are in school. This parent actually was upset.

I have had time this week during my flare and a group meeting to really open my eyes!  I am 56 years old not 26, 36 or even 40 like so many of the families that have young children. I am NOT raising my children, I have done that, I am raising 3 wonderful beautiful grandchildren so I am older than most parents!

I just feel I have to say yes but this week I realize I have missed all of my swim aerobics classes, I haven't been able to concentrate, my nerves and bones hurt.

When I say yes, yes and yes I am hurting myself and my family.

I have to learn to say NO and stop over extending myself as it really isn't good for anyone!


barb's creations said...

I too have had to start saying no to people offering up my services for other friends and relatives,it's also not my nature to say no but like you I discovered if I was worn out,stressed etc...then I was no use to anyone epecially me and my family.Hope you're feeling more relaxed since you've made this choice :) Barb.

Hilary said...

I have to learn the same lesson

jennifer robin said...

Time for you to learn that magical word "NO". I, probably will never learn it!! LOL!!

Sara said...

Learning to say NO is a hard lesson, and has to be re-learned over time. I'm currently practicing this skill both at work and in my personal life.

I'm also currently a treasurer for a group and keep telling myself "never again". Too many hassles with banking regulations and paperwork needing to be filed with national HQ, etc.

Hang in there! The parent wanting a last minute babysitter sounds ungrateful anyway!