I stopped by the Purple Cottage yesterday, the home where we lived for over six years, the place we were going to fix up and retire in and as I was driving, I noticed my blood pressure being to rise about 3 miles away.
As I drove down the street, I began sweating and my heart started racing and as I passed by, I noticed the driveway was full of cars.
Not good because I had to park and go inside.
I had my grandson stay in the van as I parked at a neighbors across the way (permission granted to us) as the last time we were there and I was sweeping up, the neighbors were outside cursing and saying bad things about us.
I opened the door and without warning, the tears began to fall. tears of sadness as I crossed the beautiful original hard wood floors that I had spent so much time sweeping and as I turned back at looked at the door it took hubby and I so long to pick out not to mention the huge blowup I had when he covered the glass in Vaseline and then painted it and I thought he had ruined it!
I looked at the lawn I had just paid the neighbor to mow and how much nicer it looked than any other yard on the street...bright green, lush and thick because my husband cares for his yard and takes pride.
I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the broom and swept the floor as I do each week when I go into check the house making sure it hasn't been vandalized or water gotten into it.
All I felt was a deep sadness.
The piles of grass are sitting on the walkway waiting to be swept up, the yard needs a raking and I am reminded this is NOT my home anymore, move on and be happy.
Just as time will blow the grass away in the wind, time will cleanse my pain, our new home will bring new memories and if God wills it, we will remain here to never again move!