I love my Fifth Wheel, don't get me wrong and I feel so blessed to have a place that is warm, dry and keeps me safe while being small enough to clean quickly on days I am not feeling 100% and with Fibromyalgia, that can be on any given day.
I do miss our old place, it was a place of peace, solace, the kids were happy, we had fruit tree's, a vegetable garden, my husband had his little shop and we were going to live there until our lives were over.
Last year we had enough Sugar Plums that I made 11 jars of jam, we had enough pickling cucumbers that I made pickles, we ate fresh veggies out of our garden. Now....just baking a batch of cookies is a chore.
I don't miss cleaning so much, but I do miss having our own washer and dryer and while my hubby and I can do our weekly laundry in just about an hour at the laundromat, I miss having our own.
Our fifth wheel is set up for a washer, but they are very small, add more humidity into the area and take up valuable space hubby needs for his work clothes and boots.
I miss our weekly family dinners. While we do a weekly dinner at my sons home, it isn't the same as having my own kitchen with all my own things that make cooking easier for me.
I don't miss all the knick knacks I had to dust all the time, I don't miss the big screen television, the dishwasher, having to clean and keep the house clean.
I miss my husbands boat, the one he worked overtime and saved to buy. The one he took my oldest granddaughter with him to get her approval on since she has been his fishing buddy since she was a year old or younger. I miss taking the kids in the heat of the summer to the lake and pulling them on a tube behind the boat.
I miss him calling our son and his girlfriend to let them know Salmon fishing will be starting at 0500 so he will be picking them up and the video's of their fishing trips and yes, even going with him once, I miss being at least asked.
I will miss watching the grands swim this year in the backyard pool that Papa put up for them, sleeping on the trampoline with friends or just laying under the stars with their dad and hearing how many shooting stars they counted.
I will miss Christmas! Our home has always been filled with baking cookies for neighbors, handmade gifts for teachers, Christmas tree cutting on a drizzly sun setting night, my husband fussing over ever little decoration that goes outside and to say we had a lot isn't even touching the surface.
All of that is gone now and while I believe in my heart that God has something amazing for us, it does not mean that this hasn't been a difficult process.
I always used to say, I was exhausted, I wanted the kids to live with their dad, be happy, to live in an RV to be able to travel. But I didn't want it to happen the way it did.
As I sit here this morning looking back at how quickly our life changed in an instant, as we have had to endure watching our family torn apart by lies and evilness, I am still counting us blessed, because no matter the lies, our family loves each other, we stand strong together and we will endure no matter what!
Downsizing isn't for the weak. However, if you have faith, love and family, you will make it through anything!!
That is a promise I can stand on from God!