Friday, February 8, 2008

Please Wake Me Up....This Has To Be A Dream!

Left Dr. and went to lab for blood draw, painless this time.
Stay on Fibromyalgia meds as is as long as the keep working.
Drive home, wet, gray, foggy and rainy.
Stop by volunteer place, chat with director.
Get home, finally! See hubby in kitchen, I smile, I am home.
Do I want good news, bad news or worst news,
Not good, where is the door? I want to run away.
Good news/sad news our beautiful Boxer has new home,
place to run, lots of acres, I cry, but know he will be happy!
Bad news, bathroom ceiling now leaking, write Liberty Mutual CEO
in morning when head is clear from worst news.
Prodigal son, possibly in jail, armed robbery, tears flow, screaming, no sound!
Why, so close to coming home?
Dad sent him money for car, for mail, now more confused, angry, have to call oldest son.
Upset, screaming obscenities not at me, in general, more questions, no answers!
Sadness sweeps over me, I can't shake it, I don't have answers, I don't know truth,
Don't tell children, he is their daddy, he told them he was staying out of trouble and
coming home to vist them soon!
How can he break their hearts? Why did he break his word? How do I tell them? How will they take the news?
I sit up, everyone in bed, another night no sleep.
Banging is gone, wind is quiet, tears fall like rain, slow at first then just stream down,
wet, hot, throat burns, I can't breathe, I am numb, I pray this is not so!
Hubby comes in, sees me in dark, holds me, words are silent between us.
What can we say to each other?
How do we tell the children?

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