I am not talking about a marriage you want out of, or one that you have contrived is just so miserable it makes you hate life in general, I am talking about a true marriage, one where two people work together (in spite of their faults) to be happy, or perhaps happiness just comes with being two. I don't know, but I do know I would be kind of lost, no, honestly I would be very much lost.
My marriage wasn't always this way, my husbands alcoholism caused me more headaches and pains over the years I believe than it ever did him up until the point where I drew the line in the sand and said I am done, you gots ta go! I just couldn't take the drinking, the bills not getting paid, never knowing what I would find inside home after work.
But skip ahead to times now when he has been for many years in many ways a very changed man and I wonder what I would do without him. No, I do not need him to survive, I have a pretty strong survival instinct that would kick in & I would survive and I would move on someday after I sorted things out in my head.
Where I would struggle and fall is in little things:
- I can't use a table saw to cut kindling & unlike him, I am not strong enough to crack it in hal over my knee.
- I can't swing an axe and cut firewood (I could maybe a few times before my back would give out)
- I can't fix the sides of the truck to load up a cord of wood so I would fall victim to people having it to deliver
- I can't wash dishes by hand as good as he can. He uses the hottest water and leaves them sparkling clean, I leave food on them and forget hot water, my hands can't take HOT!
- He is awesome with computer skills and has taught me bunches
- He is way far more better (yes, I botched the English on purpose) at the blood and broken bones thing than I am & also at the puking child thing
- He has a work attitude that is amazing
- When I am really really angry, he makes me laugh which makes me madder, but soon I am laughing because it is really silly
- He gives great hugs which I would miss soooooooooooooooo much
- He knows me and knows what scares me and doesn't laugh, but he does laugh when I cry at movies
The Bible tells us that two shall become one. How can we be two let alone one if we are constantly nagging, spending money, hiding things we or the kids have done? How can we expect truth and honesty if we aren't ourselves.
We don't have much, but we have is what it is and for that I am thankful. I am thankful Jerry is willing to get up in the middle of the night and throw firewood on to keep the house warm as I don't want to do it. I am thankful when I get up and he has turned the portable heater in the house on in the bathroom so I don't get cold.
What would I do without him? Everything! Think about it people, without your spouse, you would be doing it all...dishes, house and car maintenance, ALL OF IT. Next time you get angry, think about that one!!