Friday, June 5, 2009

The Wind Knocked Out Of Me....

You know, I am going on 53 years old and I totally get the life isn't fair thing and have for many years, but since when has the world become such a scary place that our children don't want to live here any more and they feel they can't trust anyone?

Wow! I know when I was growing up, things were simpler, but we lived in a scary world as well with the Zodiac Killer in California, Viet Nam war, Kent State murders, etc. Maybe it was because we weren't hit 24/7 with bad news. I know life wasn't perfect because my parents divorced and because of that, other parents didn't want me playing with their children. Like, we were going to rub divorce off on their family.

I lived in a small town, had wonderful neighbors (well, most of them), great friends and kept those friends until my mid-twenties when our lives just went in other directions. But, my brother still hangs with his friends from 5th grade.

Yesterday I saw such sadness on one students face and they were sad because they had made a good choice, the right choice and their peers were angry with them and telling them they didn't like them anymore for making the good choice. I can listen and counsel to a point and am glad they feel they can trust me. All I can do is tell them I am proud they made the right choice and to not worry about it.

Today, there was an assignment in one of my classes and many students stated the one thing they have learned was not to trust people, don't trust your friends, don't trust anyone, be careful what you say to others, don't trust them. Wow! It broke my heart that these students are so jaded before high school even begins! It really took the wind out of my sails.

What is more troublesome to me is that many of them feel they can trust me and tell me what is going on and I am a sub that isn't there everyday for them. What happens when they need to talk and the teacher won't listen? I try to tell the students to tell someone, an adult, but someone they can trust what they are feeling or going through, but many won't. It is as if, they are saving it up for me when I get to school.

I came home today so exhausted and weary and worried and these aren't even my children, they are just children who need someone to trust and it truly bothers me they feel I am the only one. Of course if what they tell me needs to be told to others, I do so!

4 comments:

Sherry said...

That is very sad Jean! I think we grew up trusting everyone and it's sad that so many kids today are taught and have learned from their own experiences not to trust others.

I hope your day gets a little happier!
Sherry

BarbaraCrochetStudio said...

Hi Jean,
I presented you with the One Lovely Blog Award. :)
Go to my blog to grab the button.
Barbara

Rannyjean said...

Thank you both for your kindness!

Melinda Cornish said...

I am glad you are they for them to confide in and hopefully, the other teachers are too....Trust, in this crazy world, is hard to come by.......A lot of it might just be JR. High angst....Those are some of the toughest years there are for kids...I really had a hard time figuring out who I was and where I fit in...It also is where you start growing away from your parents which is unsettling....It is hard not to shoulder it all and feel bad...you have a lot of compassion...just keep your chin up and keep plugging away!