Trying to Understand His Illness

It is exactly nine minutes before seven o'clock in the morning my time in the great northwest.  My home is filled with mornings goings on getting ready to school, dressed and plans being made for the day.

However, it was also supposed to come with a phone call from my son so we could get him back home....no call and he probably is in all seriousness hiding out somewhere.

After working for two days with an amazing officer in the town he was literally dumped in by the mysterious man in the RV....all he kept saying was, 'I'm sorry mom, I just want to go home ....I miss my dog mom.....I didn't know this was going to happen mom......

So with the officers help and some convincing on both of our parts, I was able to figure a way to get him back to Tulare, the only thing I didn't count on was his mental illness getting in the way. 

The officer paid for him to go to the next town over (an hour away) where I had found out he could take the Greyhound bus.  He arranged for the driver to take him to the local mission (not on her regular route, but to help him she agreed) and he contacted the mission.

While the mission was full, they said they would make room for him, give him a hot shower, a hot meal and a safe place to sleep for the night and someone would take him to the Greyhound station.

My son agreed to go.  No arguing and not at any risk for arrest, he got on the bus.  At 7 pm I contacted the mission just as my phone was ringing from the officer....when the bus stopped in Brookings, my son told her thanks for the ride but he wasn't going to the mission.

He is now MIA again and sadly, we cannot help him until he wants the help.  He can't get on the bus as he smells pretty badly according to the officer, so the shower and meal was to help him in that area as well.

I wish he were small again, I could protect him from the monsters under his bed, hold him when he was scared, soothe his fears away.  But, our children grow up, mental illness happens an we watch those beautiful children disappear into strangers.

This morning, I sit here in tears, knowing we have done all we can for the moment and perhaps today he will have a moment of clarity and be able to go to the mission and get that shower.  If not, it will have to wait.....until another officer runs into him and forces him to go!

Pray not only for my son but others like this....