Saturday, March 9, 2013

Settling In

I want you all to know it has been a very trying and stressful time for our family over the past month and I want to thank each and everyone of you who kept us in your prayers and sent me encouraging Emails and remained as always followers of my blog!

Let me start by saying my son Joseph was found in Oregon by a wonderful police officer I only came to know as Levi. As you may or may not know, Joseph is homeless and lives in Tulare, California and is well thought of by local authorities and well watched over by his aunts and cousins.

On January 16th he told 2 aunts he was going to Bakersfield with a man to get help from social security.  Three weeks later I was notified he hadn't returned and everyone included the local homeless were worried about him because the man he left with was scary.

I made an official missing person report, posted him on several internet sites as missing and we began our move to a new home. The stress with not knowing where my son was and the move triggered my immune system to take a dive and I wound up with the flu that turned into pneumonia.

Thank God for professional movers, my husband, my grands and the many friends who came to help and local charities that took the stuff we did not need any longer.

Unless you have a child who is homeless, unless you have done everything in your power to get him off the streets and he has refused, DO NOT judge me!  The things that were said about me on line were amazing....

One man and woman decided I was making the entire thing up to get a million hits on my Facebook (like I have time to do that or care to do that!).  The woman even went so far as to publish my blog address and tell the world how bad I was because I have a Masters Degree in Human Resources and can't help my own son.

**Reminder to those who live in boxes or glass cannot make a grown man who is 37 years old do anything he does not want to do!**

Levi and I arranged to have him go to another town in Oregon and stay at their mission overnight, get cleaned up, eat and then I would arrange a bus ticket home for him.  He was so angry that I would even think he would go to a mission and get any help for his drinking was absurd.  After all, he needed to get back to his dog in California, didn't I realize that?

Then he agreed to go when he realized he would just be there until the next day.  Levi arranged and paid for the bus trip.  He got into town and bailed.  I was sick to my stomach, my husband was worried and yet...we couldn't do anything but pray.

The next morning by God's grace, he somehow found his way to the mission and they called me...he was drunker than a skunk, but they had taken him in, fed him, given him clean clothes while washing his and he was sleeping.  They kept in contact with me through the day.  As promised, they took him to the bus depot and he got on the bus and returned home.

I will post a picture soon of him with his dog Hunter.  My prodigal son whom I love so much, pray over and sadly, cannot force him to get help. My prodigal son who was living in a group home for the mentally ill until California cut it's budget and the home opened the doors and declared him healed in the name of the California budget cuts!  

During my illness, my husband did all the moving and packing, driving the kids to school, loading his truck and driving back home  twice a day over 40 miles and you guessed it, hubby got sick!

Friends came out of the woodwork to help us with the rest of the moving and cleaning since I can't do ladders, reach up high, do much bending or stooping.  They painted and scrubbed the old house.

Yesterday I went over to meet with a realtor, open the doors and windows, put in some room fresheners, flush the toilets and reflect on our Purple Cottage that was to be our dream home and took so much money for what we did and requires so much more.

The realtor said it was a doll house, immaculate and well taken care of and was amazed how much the old wood floors shined.  Then it was time to get serious.  I think it was a test to see if I was living in reality or La La land.  Reality!  She breathed a collective sigh.

Did I know what we owed?  Yes, around two and a half times more than it is worth right now.  Did I know the assessed value?  Yes, but curious why the home next door was larger, the yard was larger and it was worth less.  

Without skipping a beat, she told me: 'I would say for the same reason all your curtains are drawn on this side of the house...they don't take care of it!'

Cute house a plus!  Deck and front porch a plus!  Above the Tsunami flood zone a big plus on the coast! New roof, seamless gutters, on and on.  Views of the Harbor a huge plus!

Now lets weigh them with no parking on the street our home is on, a shared easement with snarky neighbors all adds up to we will list it, but your bank has to come to the realization that it isn't going to sell very easily.  I know that!  How do you convince the bank they do not have prime real estate?

I placed the original pictures of the house in a drawer so people could see all the work we did (she liked that), I left the information pamphlets and warranties on the woodstove and insert (she liked that) and I told her we would not hide the easement issue from anyone!

We were lied to from the very beginning.  We were told the easement was so the neighbors could access the back of their property, they felt differently and it caused 5 years of discord.  I told her whomever purchases it needs to have a survey done and define the boundaries right away.

That is only a small part of why I have been away.  Why I haven't jumped over to visit your blogs or posted.  I haven't even quilted or taken one stitch in anything since our move.

But I promise, once things settle down, I will come back.

Hugs and love to all who have been my friend!                      

1 comment:

Sara said...

it is good to see a post again. I do wish people would be nicer online. Some seem to think that it's OK to be cruel because they can remain anoymous. Just not acceptable in my opinion.

Hope your household can all settle in and enjoy your new surroundings.